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Helping Children Regulate Emotions at Different Ages

Emotional regulation is a crucial skill that children need to develop as they grow. As parents, one of our most important responsibilities is to help our children navigate the complex world of emotions. Teaching emotional regulation begins at a young age and evolves as your child matures. In this article, we will discuss how parents can help their children regulate their emotions at different stages of development, from infancy to adolescence.

Infancy (0-2 Years)

  1. Responsive Caregiving: Babies rely on their parents for emotional cues and regulation. Respond promptly to their cries and physical needs. Holding, cuddling, and soothing your baby create a sense of security.

  2. Emotional Validation: Although infants can't communicate verbally, they experience emotions. Use facial expressions, tone of voice, and gentle touch to validate their feelings.

  3. Establish Routines: Predictable routines provide a sense of security. Regular feeding, napping, and playtime help infants learn to anticipate events, reducing anxiety.

Toddlerhood (2-5 Years)

  1. Teach Basic Emotion Vocabulary: Introduce words like happy, sad, angry, and scared to help toddlers label their emotions. Reading books with emotional themes can be helpful.

  2. Model Emotional Expression: Children learn by observing. Display healthy emotional expression by talking about your feelings and showing appropriate ways to handle them.

  3. Provide Choices: Offer limited choices to help toddlers feel more in control, reducing frustration. For example, ask if they want the blue or red cup.

  4. Time-Out vs. Time-In: Instead of traditional time-outs, use "time-ins" to sit with your child and discuss their emotions. Encourage them to express their feelings.

Early Childhood (6-11 Years)

  1. Emotion Coaching: Teach your child to identify and express their emotions. Encourage open conversations about feelings and problem-solving.

  2. Teach Coping Strategies: Introduce coping mechanisms like deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking a break when they feel overwhelmed.

  3. Encourage Empathy: Help your child understand others' perspectives and feelings. Encourage them to think about how their actions affect others.

  4. Set Boundaries: Clear boundaries provide structure and security. Explain the consequences of their actions to help them understand the impact of their behavior.

Adolescence (12+ Years)

  1. Foster Independence: Adolescents crave autonomy. Encourage them to make decisions, manage their time, and solve problems independently.

  2. Active Listening: Adolescents often need someone to listen without judgment. Create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.

  3. Stress Management: Teach older children stress management techniques like mindfulness, journaling, and exercise to cope with the pressures of adolescence.

  4. Peer Pressure Awareness: Discuss peer pressure, substance use, and risky behaviors. Encourage assertiveness and critical thinking skills to make healthy choices.

General Tips for All Ages

  1. Be a Role Model: Children learn from observing their parents. Demonstrate healthy emotional regulation in your own life.

  2. Be Patient: Emotion regulation is a developmental process. It's normal for children to struggle at times. Offer support and understanding.

  3. Avoid Punishment for Emotions: Never punish a child for expressing their feelings. Instead, guide them towards appropriate ways to manage their emotions.

  4. Seek Professional Help: If your child's emotional challenges persist or intensify, consult a pediatrician or child psychologist for guidance.


Helping children regulate their emotions is a lifelong journey that evolves with age. By employing these strategies and adapting them to your child's unique needs, you can empower them to navigate the complexities of their emotions and lead healthier, happier lives. Remember that building emotional regulation skills is a process, and your consistent support and guidance are invaluable throughout their development.


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